How Do They Do it?
I've always wondered how a handful of people would become really successful and accomplish whatever they wanted by "going with the flow" and "just seeing what happens", while the majority would also "go with the flow" and "see what happens" then end up wishing their situation was different. It didn't matter whether it was about love, relationships, career, finances, self-awareness, or personal empowerment. The statistics were the same; a few experiencing the results they wanted but the majority not.
What's the difference between these two groups of people? One is empowered, living with clear intention and direction in their lives, versus the other which settles and just takes whatever comes their way?
There are a lot of reasons; who they associate with, what they learn and what they're taught from their teachers, family, and friends, their own levels of self-motivation, how they interact with others, life circumstances. It could be due to any combination of millions of reasons.
Whatever it may be, the root of these reasons can be traced to fear and the nature and origin of this fear. What do I mean the nature and origin of this fear?
What Fear is and Where it Comes From
Dictionary.com defines fear as
"a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid."
Who, or more appropriately, what is feeling this emotion? It's our ego.
Who we think we are is NOT our egos. Rather, we are the observer that is aware we have an ego, and aware that we are feeling certain emotions . The nature of this observer is all about Happiness, Joy, Prosperity, Success, Abundance.
On the other hand, we all have our own egos and the nature of all egos follow similar general characteristics:
- Wanting fame, recognition, the feeling of importance
- Wanting all the credit for great things without necessarily having to work for it, instant gratification
- Wanting to not be accountable for actions, always a victim; it's always someone or something else's fault
- Wanting to stay in the dark and be unaware, not wanting to know the truth
- Constantly comparing itself with others
The ego sounds like a really negative and obnoxious thing but really, that's just the nature of the ego. It's a part of each person's way of preserving individuality and maintaining identity. It's also the present day form of a primitive survival mechanism that protects a person from any real or perceived threat.
In the same way, the Observer is not necessarily positive or negative. It's just a more aware and conscious part of ourselves who's nature represents our highest, best, and most prolific intentions.
Introduce our mind into the picture. Think of the mind as a tool that makes things happen, it doesn't ask, it doesn't question, it just works. If we're not aware, and we don't direct the mind for results we want from the Observer's perspective, then the ego will take over the mind to use for its own purposes of preserving itself and preserving it's nature. In essence, the tool or vehicle takes over the user.
Car and Driver Analogy
To make this relationship a little clearer, think of the mind as a car and the perspective of the ego and the perspective of the Observer as the CHOICES of the driver. If the ego is allowed to choose, the driver would simply turn on the car, put it in drive, recline his seat, sit back and hope that he'll end up at his appointment. The car might start going down the street but he's not really paying attention, just relaxing, listening to music. He doesn't see the stop sign and the car coming on the right. Then BOOM! Car accident, and he arrives late for his important appointment. Of course, the other driver should have stopped, and there was traffic, and his wife didn't put the new registration back in the car so he didn't have it when the cops asked for it. It wasn't his fault!
On the other hand, the Observer would have made all the necessary preparations ahead of time, been more aware of his surroundings, made sure he knew what he needed and had everything he needed to get to where he needed to be. It would have been a nice and smooth ride to his appointment with time to spare. He would have left a great impression with whoever he was meeting. From there, more doors and more opportunities would have opened up to him in the process.
Teacher and Bratty Student Analogy
Another analogy, imagine you are a teacher correcting papers after school. There's only you and the most spoiled little brat in your class. The ego is like that spoiled brat, and you are like your mind and the Observer. The kid could be tossing papers all over the place, writing on the whiteboard with a permanent marker, and yelling at the top of his lungs. If you get mad and stop what you're working on, and give attention to the child, the child has gained influence over you and you get taken off course from what you're trying to accomplish.
However, if you simply observe the child, acknowledge that the child is there but not be distracted from your work, eventually the child will know that it has no power over you and will tire himself out. The ego, like the child, feeds on the attention it is given. The moment the child's behavior influences you to the point where it causes you to react, then the child has influence over you. But, if you act or not act, from an Observer perspective, you are not under the influence of the child. Therefore, you are empowered because you're acting out of choice.
Own Your Choices
The whole idea is to make the choices that will give us the results we desire. But even before that, it's about knowing where our decisions are coming from. It's about being aware of what factors are in play, namely the mind, ego, and the Observer within us, so we can move our lives in the direction that we'd like them to go. It doesn't matter what area of Life we're talking about; love, relationships, finances, personal empowerment, career; it's all the same. Will we choose, to be empowered by the choice we're making?
It takes a bit of practice to take a step back and be aware of where our choices are coming from but it gets to be second nature over time. The point is not to over-think and over-observe our actions and reactions. There could be a million and one reasons why something wouldn't turn out the way you want them to.
The point, is to OWN our choices and focus on the results that we want. All of our possibilities are available! You'll be seeing some great examples soon on Perfect Life Daily!
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